


Letting Go

by elaine



Category: due South
Genre: Episode Related, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Romance, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-01-06
Updated: 1999-01-06
Packaged: 2018-11-10 20:16:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11133969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elaine/pseuds/elaine
Summary: A PWP set during the epsiode Letting Go.





	Letting Go

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).

Letting Go

# Letting Go

For the first time since all this started, Ray was starting to relax a little. Today he felt that things were starting to come right between him and Benny, at long last. He'd bought Benny an electric saw and told him he'd pay for a proper john to go in the cabin... this last was more for himself than for Benny, of course, but he knew Benny had appreciated it. He'd nearly changed his mind about giving him the saw, it seemed such a transparent and pathetic attempt to buy his way back into Benny's favour, but in the end he was glad he'd done it... and it had been a good idea to offer to help rebuild the cabin. 

He wriggled slightly, seeking a more comfortable position in the bath full of hot water, a luxury he rarely had time or privacy to afford himself. It had been so good see Benny out of that hospital bed, even if he was in a wheelchair and it had obviously tired him. Benny had seemed much more approachable, less distant somehow, and when Ray had asked if he should leave, Benny had said no. He could still remember the warmth that had spread through him at that simple response, could still feel the smile, in fact he was smiling again at the memory of it. 

It had given him the courage to mention Victoria, the first time he'd dared, even thought Benny had dropped the odd remark about her. Benny hadn't objected or closed up, though the look of sadness on his face had been heartbreaking. It had only lasted a moment and then they'd joked a bit about cutting down trees with axes. Surely Benny had been joking... not that it mattered, he would have chewed them down with his teeth to keep that smile on Benny's face. 

Ray sighed and closed his eyes, sinking further into the hot water. God it was great to be alone in the house. When the family was home the bathroom was like Grand Central Station. Even having a shower could be an endurance test... but tonight they were all out, and Ray was making the most of it. 

He began to soap himself luxuriously, stretching and massaging tired and stiff muscles. Gradually he became aware that one particular muscle was becoming stiffer under his ministrations. He smiled delightedly, trying to remember the last time he'd felt that. It was a long time, far too long... the smile slipped a little... certainly not since Victoria had arrived on the scene. But even that memory couldn't spoil this for him and he slid his hand casually up the inside of his thigh, and drew it lightly over the sweetly aching balls, the turgid cock. 

Ray realised that he was humming softly under his breath as he continued the lazy stroking. There was no hurry to complete this, he had all the time in the world to give himself this pleasure and he lingered until the water began to cool. Then he levered himself out of the bath and drained it while he slowly dried himself with a warm thick towel. 

He patted himself affectionately. "Just you wait fella, till we're alone together... someplace safe." 

Passing by the mirror, he stopped to examine himself. He looked tired, relaxed. His eyes travelled over his reflected image. Fairly wide shoulders considering his narrow frame, the bones clearly defined beneath the skin. Where the sun had touched him, he was a warm olive hue, but other places it was more like the colour of creamed honey. 

He brushed his fingers over the small patch of chest hair. It was fine, almost silky in texture. Rather nice. Nut brown nipples bracketed the hair, each with its own little ring of wiry hairs, he brushed against them almost as if by accident. The large flat discs puckered at even that tiny contact and he smiled, sensitive they were, always had been. It was one of his pleasures to tease them... 

He watched his fingers trail down the centre line of his body, skipping lightly over his navel and down the line of dark hair on his belly. He could see the pulse beating against his skin on the left side and touched it lightly with his fingertips. He began to stroke the sensitive skin, feeling it contract sensually at his touch. 

Below his hand he could see the slow stirring of his cock. He'd always liked the shape of his cock, long and slender, fitting the rest of his body. For the first time in his life he wondered briefly what it would be like to have a foreskin. He frowned slightly, dismissing the thought... besides, he liked the rounded shape of the cockhead, the bareness of it, the way the slit pulsed and flared when he stimulated it. As if to prove it to himself, he rubbed it gently, feeling the instant response with a little tremor down the inside of his thighs. 

He cupped his hand beneath the semi-erect cock and then slid it down the shaft to his balls. Dark and low-slung, the curve of his balls very distinct, he'd always thought they were sexy as hell. If he'd ever wanted a man, it would have been a man with balls like this, he thought... Lovingly he caressed them, and then lifted them to nestle against the dark wiry curls at his groin. He smiled at himself in the mirror, a wicked, conspiratorial smile, then turned away. He stooped to pull on his pyjama bottoms, slung the top over his arm and headed for the bedroom, whistling. The bed was warm and welcoming. He slid into its embrace gratefully and let the covers settle over his body. There were so many ways to do this... most often he simply satisfied his physical needs almost indifferently, all that was required was a good wrist action and a little time. But tonight he was in one of those rare moods when he wanted to indulge himself. 

He lifted his hands to his chest and allowed them to drift lazily over the surface, enjoying the various textures, teasing himself with the lightest of touches. He let his mind wander, imagining it was someone else's hands touching him and gently stroking his nipples to hardness. Still he delayed, until the pleasure built to a peak, then he slipped the waistband of his pyjamas loose and folded back the cloth. 

Now he was hard, his balls tight and needy, his cock rigid. He palmed the shaft gently, still not ready to push himself to the point of no return. The covers were tented over his raised knees leaving him plenty of unconstricted space. He moved his other hand down over his belly, between his thighs and cupped his balls. At first that was all the touch he could bear, then carefully he began to stroke and squeeze them, pausing whenever he seemed in danger of going too far. 

There was something rather wonderful about pleasuring himself this way. Ray began to stroke his cock firmly, carefully varying the strength and rhythm of his touch. Images flickered through his mind, most of them not sexual at all, just pleasant memories... like the conversation he'd had with Benny that afternoon. 

It had been a lot like putting one of his nephews or nieces to bed, Benny had obviously been tired but he'd kept the talk going, reluctant to surrender to sleep. In the end Ray had stayed until he was asleep and then quietly left. He smiled at the memory. He'd never in his life felt closer to Benny than he had today. The distant, somewhat prickly Benny of the last few weeks had disappeared to be replaced, not by the calm, controlled Mountie he'd known for over a year, but by someone new and altogether more approachable. 

He realised he was smiling reminiscently and moved to the next plateau, his hips working to push himself more firmly against his hand. Oh that felt so good... He shifted onto his side to allow for greater movement and began to thrust in earnest, his hand tightening around the shaft. Then he brought his other hand to cover the juice-slick head letting it impact firmly against his cupped palm at the peak of each thrust. He was close now, his breath coming in soft moans, his body almost floating. Just one more... just one... His hand clenched involuntarily as his cock spasmed, sending waves of pure pleasure through him. 


End file.
